Nice Day for a Royal Wedding

I am bored to tears of hearing about the poxy Royal Wedding.

While I can’t really argue against it on a purely economic basis, as I’m sure it will bring in a load of cash for the country (though more on that in a bit), I still find it a bit insulting that we’re going to have to foot the expensive security bill for this whole showdown. Though if the books balance, or, heaven forbid, turn a profit, that’s alright, I guess.

My main gripe, as it were, is with the shameless tidal wave of royal wedding tat that seems to be on offer.

You can pick up the obligatory tea-towel, Royal Wedding commemorative stickers, mugs, knock-off jewellery, dresses, bunting, flags, fridge, sick bag, Oyster card, awful films and hell, even web browser themes. While the tea-towels et al can almost be justified, as they could be considered vaguely collectible, it despairs me to see the lengths some companies and products will go to milk the Wedding gravy train for all it’s worth. I’ve eschewed individual links to all the different kids of tat; just click here and stand in awe.

For a supposedly intelligent country, we don’t half embarrass ourselves by buying this sort of stuff.

Come on. What does a set of garden gnomes dressed in wedding garb with hideous Union Flag hats have to do with the Royal Wedding? Who on earth would want printed bedding that lines up the heads of the slumbering people in the bed with the “official outfits” of Kate and Prince William? As an aside, who decided that somewhat-nice blue dress and lounge suit was the Royal couple’s “official costume” anyway? Did I miss a memo?

It was on Channel 5 this afternoon. I wasn’t depressed enough to watch.

Enough with the rambling. Time to give a reasonably concise response to Hannah Mudge’s question: Are we suffering from Royal Wedding Overkill?

Yes, yes we are.

And I’m not usually in agreement with someone who puts “left wing politics” in their interests!

Beside the spurious, relentless avalanche of Royal Wedding tat, which even of itself is bad enough. I think the media has gone stir-crazy to almost perpetuate this atmosphere of mass hysteria. Yes, it’s lovely that they’re getting married. Yes, I realise that William is the future King of England. But must the newspapers – the Daily Mail, I’m looking at you – absolutely beat to deal the comparisons between Kate Middleton and Princess Diana? It’s bad enough he was a bit of a cheapskate and just palmed her his mother’s old ring.

Living in Diana’s shadow much be unbearable at times. The constant comparisons to her, not to mention the relentless, vulture-esque obsession with Kate’s image? Is she too thin? Is she too fat? What will she wear? What won’t she wear? She must be under enough stress without this sort of ridiculous, pointless, contrary obsession in the tabloids over how she “should” look. Let her decide. Stop pestering her, she’s human. She;s about to make a jump into a lifestyle that’s got massive enormity on it already, lest she need a voracious, insatiable, self perpetuating media frenzy following her until her death. As Hannah quite nicely put in her post that I linked to above:

Kate may be 'every inch the modern princess' but she's destined to have her every move photographed and displayed in a tabloid next to Diana doing or wearing something similar. I'm sure she's thrilled to have to live up to the example set by not only the nation's 'Queen of Hearts', but her future husband's deceased mother, who died during a somewhat dubious encounter with the press.

Let’s not forget, it was that frenzy that played a not-exactly-tiny role in bringing the end of Diana’s life significantly closer. Though it seems to me a huge cyclical morass: They couldn’t leave Diana alone when she was alive, will be damned if they’ll leave her alone after her death to, what is it they say, “rest in peace”, and now makes almost unceasing comparisons between Diana’s son, his fiancé/wife and his mother.

It’s almost as if it’s a marriage of three people. The unerring comparison between Kate and Diana is unbearable. This poor girl must be living in the shadow of someone she knows she can never aim to better, in the eyes of the nation, and regurgitated for decades afterwards by the Mail etc. And I see this ending in nothing but tragedy. Like the first time.

Now, I think that yes, it is a time for celebration, on the 29th. It’s a great, joyous national event, and we don’t get many of those these days. But please, can we leave it all alone on the 30th?

That is, once we’ve finished cleaning up after the wave of “street party fever” that’s hit the nation. Another memo I didn’t get. Like the one about how “I’m supposed” to be patriotic by supporting crap like this. More on that little phenomena (of things that I’m “supposed to display patriotism by supporting”) in a later post…

Oh, and what would a wedding-related post be without this:

I only prey that on Saturday we hear nothing more about it. Though as a bit of a pessimist, my hopes aren’t great.

If this was too much of a ramble, and, I admit it likely is, I’ve been lax with the linking and fact-checking, I can only apologise.

Image credits to Flickr, click images to view originals